Melanie
When one of my close friends broke the news that she is not only expecting one or two, but three babies at once, she suddenly had another pretty difficult choice to make: Who should be the Gotti’s and Götti’s of her soon-to-be-born triplets?
What is a godfather or godmother? Here's a quick history lesson.
Let me quickly explain what exactly Gotti and Götti are... In English they are called godmother, godfather or simply godparent. A long time ago, when expectancy of life was low and no government support system existed for orphans, the Gotti/Götti system certainly made sense in a society.
The word Pate (Standard German for Götti) is derived from the Latin “pater spiritualis” or “patrinus”, meaning “Mit-Vater” (literally ”With-Father”). In case the parents died and a child was left behind, the Gotti and Götti were there to look after the little one. Nowadays it is different, but Gotti/Götti are still very important for every child in Switzerland.
Being a godmother is a self esteem booster
So one of the greatest moments in the adult life of a Swiss is to be asked to become Gotti/Götti of a little girl or boy in the Freundeskreis. It basically means that your friends believe in the good sides of you, they think you are grown-up and responsible enough to take up this „job“.
It is like one big, fat compliment and it will boost your self-esteem. When my friend asked me if I wanted to be Gotti, I screamed and cried at the same time, called my mom on one phone and my best friend on another phone to tell them the great news.
When reality sets in
But after committing to be Gotti/Götti, there is a whole new world opening up to you: In the eyes of Swiss parents, it is definitely not enough effort to put some money in an envelope and send it to the godchild once a year...
As a dedicated Swiss Gotti/Götti, you are expected to be there for the homecoming of your godchild after birth and when they take the first steps. You are expected to watch their first play at kindergarten and join every birthday party until they turn 18... You get the point.
Take me, for example. I am a very proud Gotti of Nadira, 2 yrs. When her mom got too stressed out with all the household chores and raising of four children (yep, the triplets also have an older sister), she booked a flight to Marrakech for a time-out with her husband.
A four-day time-out. Guess who looked after the girls, and guess who was really flattered and excited to look after them? Of course, the devoted Gotti’s!
We worked out a „plan-of-attack“ and while mom was spending relaxing hours in the hamam, we were happy to change smelly diapers, let the girls play in the bathtub for ages (and dry the whole bathroom aftewards), tell the same stories over and over again, sing enthusiastically “Alli-mini-Äntli”, feed the kids patiently, clean up the mess after a crumbly Zwieback-Zvieri…
In short: Keep them happy and bubbly any time of the day! Even though we had quite an intense time with the girls, it was totally worth the sweat. That said, the Gotti’s fell asleep on the couch every night at 9 PM...
Happy Ending
Why anyone should treasure this experience? If I ask Nadira now where Gotti Melanie is, she will point her sticky little finger towards me without hesitation. And this is just one of those many priceless Gotti/Götti moments...
Do you have fond memories of your own Gotti/Götti? Or are you a proud Gotti/Götti yourself? Tell us about it!
Nuria McCrea-Grifoll
Dimitri Burkhard
Thank you for this story. As a ‘Newly Swissed’ with 2 boys, I was very happy to ask some of our best friends here. I really take Gotti/Götti to mean that there will be other adults, in our children’s lives, whom they can also turn to in times of need. As well as being exposed to their different hobbies and interests, making their lives even richer with experiences.
Unfortunately, I did not have a Gotti/Götti. I wish I had. As a child, I always imagined it as 2 more people in the world who love you!
For our children, their Gotti/Götti’s are additions to our family. Because our family here in Switzerland is quite small and my ‘Latin Roots’ are accustomed to gigantic families, I am ecstatic to have our ‘family’ grow in this way. When my best friend told me she was pregnant and that she would love for me to be Gotti……I jumped over the moon! And now our ‘family’ has grown with a Gotti Meiteli (God daughter)!
PrisCilla
Hello PrisCilla :)
Thank you so much for your comment. I know exactly what you’re talking about! I had a great Götti that was and still is interested in my life. But my Gotti was a huge disappointment in many ways… I really sufferd a lot as a child. For me it would have been better to grow up without Gotti at all than with the one I had… But the good thing out of this is, that I try really hard to be the best Gotti that I can be! I hope that you, Armin and the boys are fine :)
I know that this is an old post, but it is helpful in what I am wondering currently……
My question is, if you marry someone who is already a Gotti, do you automatically have to go to all the visits with them?
Thanks!
That’s a great question, Jo! I’d say it depends, but there certainly is an argument for some Gotti/godchild bonding time without hubby.