Dimitri Burkhard
Are you ready for hilarious things you'll never hear a Swiss person say?
Because let me tell you, the Land of Cheese and Chocolate residents are proud of their beautiful country. They have a reputation for being reserved and polite, and they live up to that reputation in spades.
So, saying things against the environment, direct democracy, or - God forbid - Roger Federer would never cross a Swiss person's mind. The Swiss hold their traditions and national identity dear to their hearts, and any criticism of it is not something they would say out loud. There are some things you will never hear a Swiss person say.
For this fun listicle, we've put on our Wilhelm Tell hats to devise the most outrageous statements that would make any Swiss person's hair stand on end.
Sit back, grab a fondue fork, and get ready to laugh at these things you'll never hear a Swiss person say:
"Austria has great skiing." 😱
"The EU is such a great idea; let's join it right away." 🇪🇺
"I appreciate it when foreigners correct my English grammar." 🙄
"Swiss German sounds ugly." 🙈
"The Röstigraben does not exist." 🥔
"And Heidi is just a figment of imagination." 👧
"Let's invite some strangers to our party." 😬
"I visit Jungfraujoch every year." 🏔️
"And I always stock some Jungfrau air at home." 💨
"I feel sorry for the cows wearing those noisy bells around their necks." 🐮
"I'd like to vote on more referendums." 🗳️
"I pay someone to clean my house." 🧹
"I prefer German sourdough bread over Swiss bread." 🇩🇪
"Insurance for my toaster? I don't need it." 😅
"I never carry cash." 🤑
"I'm sorry, but what was your name again?" 🤦
Love interesting facts about Switzerland?
We have an e-book full of them! 🇨🇭
Vanessa Lépine
I say at least 4-5 of those sentences. Despite accordting to this article I apparently never say this as a Swiss.
“I feel sorry for the cows that have to wear those noisy bells around their necks.” -> CHECK
“I pay someone to clean my house.” -> CHECK
“Insurance for my toaster? I don’t need it.” -> CHECK
“I never carry cash.” -> CHECK
“And I’m sorry, but what’s your name again?” -> CHECK
How about “Sorry I’m a little late.”? (punctuality)
tried to subscribe to the newsletter, but get “cheating” return. ich bschiesse aber noed, choend Sie mir haelfe? !??
Dear Cornelia! Thank you for the feedback – we’re investigating this. Meanwhile, we have taken the liberty to add you to our newsletter list.